45 Knee-Slapping Pirate Puns That Make Waves

, Staff Writer
Updated July 6, 2021
pirate pun plunderful life
    pirate pun plunderful life
    clairevis / iStock / Getty Images Plus
    Used under Getty Images license

Are you looking for some pirate puns that will have you and just about everyone else rolling with laughter? You're sure to have a knee-slapping, rip-roaring good time with these chuckle-worthy one-liners. They'll shiver the timbers of seafarers and landlubbers alike.

Funny Puns About Pirates and the Sea

Pirates and their crews spend most of their time at sea. The only thing they love more than sailing is finding treasure to keep!

  • I'm a pirate, off to sea! It's a plunderful life for me.
  • A pirate plunders the high seas. A pie-rat plunders the pantry.
  • The high seas are where me heart-y it be.
  • We set sail on the high seas at the kraken of dawn.
  • Watch out for pirate ships; they're assailing vessels.
  • Pirates don't need to go on vacation. They get all the arrr and arrr they need at work.
  • Pirates are obsessed with being at sea. They're aqua-holics.
  • Aye-ll have my own ship schooner or later.
  • It'll be nautical miles and miles before a pirate decides to return to the shore.
  • Retired pirates love yoga because of all the ex-sailing.
  • Seeing a pirate ship in person is truly oar-inspiring.

More Pirate Puns for Everyone

You don't have to walk the plank to find funny pirate puns. Put on your pirate hat and relax on the shore. There's pirate lingo galore for you and your friends to explore.

pirate pun spill the doubloons
    pirate puns spill the doubloons
    tsirik / iStock / Getty Images Plus
    Used under Getty Images license
  • I'll never spill the doubloons about the treasure!
  • Who did the ghost pirate hire to repair his boat? A skeleton crew!
  • I like big booty; that's no lie.
  • Pirate: Another name for a naughty, knotty sailor.
  • You can abso-loot-ley trust me with the treasure map.
  • All I Caribbean about is finding the treasure!
  • A fool and his booty are soon parroted.
  • I like my booty to be filled with looty.
  • That pirate is par-rotten to the shore!
  • The treasure is just a hop, skiff and a jump away.
  • Where do one-legged pirates like to eat? IHOP.
  • Captain, can I bend your ear? Not for free; it's a buccaneer.
  • Your booty's so small you could store it all in a dinghy.

Pirate Pun Riddles and Jokes

Want a pun that's also a bit of a riddle? Check out these punny question-and-answer combinations! Just hope any pirate you say them to has a good sense of humor. Otherwise, matey, you just might be walking the plank.

pirate pun two pirates call it a draw
    pirate pun two pirates call it a draw
    pirates: Sergei Krestinin / iStock / Getty Images Plus , island: Seahorse Vector / iStock / Getty Images Plus
    Used under Getty Images license
  • What's it called when two pirates call it a draw? A stale-matey!
  • Why did the pirate go to the birthday party instead of plundering loot? Age be-farrr booty!
  • Why did the pirate go to rehab? Because he got hooked!
  • Why did the pirate write a letter? Because the pen is mightier than the sword!
  • What did the pirate give his fiance? An engagement dubloon.
  • What do you call pirate twins? Doubloons!
  • Why did the pirate quit his plundering ways? He was a pegleg in a square hole.
  • What do you call a one-handed pirate who doesn't bathe? A dirty hooker!
  • What does a pirate's dog do? Scallywag his tail!
  • What does a pirate name his dog? The Plank. That's why he's always walking The Plank.
  • What did the pirate's girlfriend say when he stood her up? I'm all swashbuckled up with no place to go.
  • What did the pirate say to the lawman? Don't get buccaneer me!
  • What do you call it when the crew of a pirate ship plots mutiny? A consipra-sea!
  • What does a pirate do when there is no treasure to be found? Cry pira-tears.
  • Do pirates like to fight? Sword of.
  • Is your sister marrying a pirate? Knot on my watch!
  • What grades do future pirates strive for in school? High C's.
  • What does a pirate's phone ringer sound like? Ringy dinghy dinghy.
  • Why did you join a band of pirates? Pier pressure.
  • Why did the pirate have to stay on shore? He didn't have a crew.
  • What did the pirate's landlord say when he was evicted? Get out, you free-looter!

Explore More Than Just Pirate Puns

Pirate puns are hilarious to read and even funnier to share, but they're not the only kind of pun; others aren't too rare. While you've got puns on the mind, poke around for a few others to find. Start with birthday puns to honor your friends. From there, explore even more pun examples so the fun never ends.