75 Harry Potter Puns Worthy of a Hogwarts Education

, Staff Writer
Updated July 29, 2021
Harry Potter Puns Hogwarts
    Harry Potter Puns Hogwarts
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    Used under Getty Images license

It might seem a bit muggle-headed, but Harry Potter puns are fun. Siriusly, think about it. From jumping to the Ron conclusion to a Hairy Potter, you can have a good time with fun Harry Potter puns.

Harry Potter One-Liner Puns

Are you looking for some siriusly funny one-liners to add to your Harry Potter repertoire? Then look no further than these punny Harry Potter puns.

Harry Potter Puns Spellbook
    Harry Potter Puns Spellbook
    Dina Belenko Photography / Moment
    Used under Getty Images license
  • It’s important not to jump to the Ron conclusion!

  • Ron can Weasly his way out of anything.

  • They never said Hogwarts was going to be Weasly.

  • But of curse, magic is hard.

  • I chant get enough of Harry Potter.

  • Owl ask the questions in this potions class.

  • Don’t be so muggle-headed about it.

  • My life is an open spellbook!

  • You have to admit, he’s looking a little Hagrid.

  • Shush, it’s time to remain quietus.

  • You never want to walk in the Diagon Alley alone.

  • Slytherins are big on Snapechat.

  • There is no time for dawdling, you better Harry up.

  • Let me tell you the Pottercularly perfect Harry Potter pun.

  • Spells come in all Snapes and sizes.

  • You must admit that Harry Potter is a myst-sirius novel at times.

  • Don’t worry, owl be right there.

  • Wizards have a keen sense of spell!

  • All I really wand to do is go to Hogwarts.

  • Of curse, you can’t refuse.

  • You really stupify me!

  • When you’re a snitch, sometimes it’s a beater pill to swallow.


Hogwarts House Jokes to Get You Laughing

One of the best schools of magic can also be one of the funniest. Explore a list of fun Hogwarts puns that will have even Snape rolling in laughter.

Harry Potter Puns McGonagall
    Harry Potter Puns McGonagall
    The Washington Post / The Washington Post / Getty Images
    Used under Getty Images license
  • How do you get into Hogwarts? Through the Dumble-door

  • What’s the biggest problem in Hogwarts School? Spelling errors

  • Why is everyone scared of the post office at Hogwarts? They speak parcel-tongue.

  • Why was Sirius banned from Hogwarts? For black magic

  • Why is studying at Hogwarts confusing? Students aren’t sure witch-craft to choose.

  • What mints does Hogwarts promote? Enchant mints

  • Why doesn’t Hogwarts promote externships? They don’t have de-mentors.

  • How did Snape get back to his office? He was Slytherin.

  • Why do students avoid McGonagall in the hallway? She’s catty.

  • What do you call first-class mail at Hogwarts? The Hogwarts express

  • Why didn’t the students get 10s on their papers? They needed 9 3/4s.


Great Gryffindor Puns

The laughs are just starting to roll. Now it’s time to dive into the different house puns. From Gryffindor's to Nearly Headless Nick, there is a little something for everyone.

  • Potter gets himself into a lot of Harry situations.

  • When Hermione's around, Granger things happen.

  • Gryffindor’s aren’t known for jumping to the Ron conclusions.

  • Fred is a bit of a Weasley character.

  • Rubeus is looking a bit Hagrid lately.

  • Why do Gryffindors exercise? All those Gryffindorphins.

  • What did one Gryffindor say to another? I Gryffin-adore you!

  • What do you call the center of the orange in Hogwarts? The Neville of the orange

  • Why did Dumbledore’s phoenix not speak? He had a Fawkes tongue.

  • What’s Harry Potter’s motto? Neville, give up!


Riddikulus Ravenclaw & Hufflepuff Puns

It’s not all about Gryffindor! You’ve got to add a touch of Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff too! Check out a few bravenclaw puns that are hufflepuffection!

  • Ravenclaws aren’t Luna-tics. I assure you.

  • Please don’t Chang the subject!

  • It’s hard to Flitwick a car into your purse without magic.

  • You might have a Helena of a time being a Ravenclaw.

  • Lockhart, I was trying to ask you a question.

  • I just Lovegood you! You Luna-tic.

  • You really shouldn’t be Sprouting in class.

  • Don’t just Sprout out the answer in divination.

  • Don’t get shufflepuffed on the moving staircase.

  • When you are a Hufflepuff, you need to make sure every day you're hufflin'.

Snapey Slytherin Puns

Now it’s time to talk a little bit about the Slytherins. They could make you S.P.E.W. your guts laughing at these great Snapey puns.

  • Draco’s friends are a bit Crabbey.

  • When you get sorted, you need to make a Snape decision to become Slytherin.

  • I heard it through the Snapevine.

  • You’re in for a Severus talking to if you haven’t read Harry Potter.

  • Growing up in Voldemort’s family was a Gaunting task.

  • We need to Riddle the world of Death Eaters.

  • There are Severus factors you need to consider when fighting Voldemort.

  • Draco’s friends were Slytherining idiots.

  • You have to baron mind that Slytherins can go bad.

  • It’s probably best to be Lestranged from that family!


Harry Potter Jokes

Haven’t had enough puns yet? Good, because we have a few fun Harry Potter jokes to add to the mix.

Harry Potter Puns Hagrid
    Harry Potter Puns Hagrid
    Sam Tabone / WireImage / Getty Images
    Used under Getty Images license
  • What will get you detention in Hogwarts? Cursing in class

  • What do you get if you mix Harry Potter and Hagrid? Hairy Potter

  • How can wizards stop itching? Quidditch

  • Why doesn’t a wizard get lost? They are a wand-erer.

  • Why doesn’t Black laugh? He’s Sirius.

  • What’s a dementors theme song? “You take my breath away”

  • What’d they say when Harry got the snitch? He’s a keeper.

  • Why do wizards lock their doors at night? They’re afraid to get muggled.

  • Why is Fred not going into the Chamber of Secrets? He's a-Fred!

  • Why was everyone avoiding Hermione? She was Grangerous.

  • Why are wizards afraid to eat the pies? They are portkey pies.

  • Why does George need a nap? He had bread and butterbeer.


Punny Harry Potter Puns for All Ages

Alright, don’t Percy your lips at these fun puns. Instead, grab a pen and don’t be a-Fred to try some of your own. In all Siriusness though, you might enjoy examples of puns for kids. Not your cup of tea, give these funny puns a try.