There was a young lady named Bright Whose speed was far faster than light; She set out one day In a relative way And returned on the previous night.

-Buller, A(rthur) H(enry) Reginald
  'Relativity', published anonymously in Punch,19 Dec. Buller's claim to authorship is recorded in W S Baring-Gould The Lure of the Limerick (1968). British  historian,  notably  of  20c  Europe.  He  was  Master  of  St Catherine's College, Oxford (1960^80).

   Success is relative: It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things.

-Eliot,T(homas) S(tearns)
  The Family Reunion, pt.2, sc.3.