I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.

-Chesterton, G(ilbert) K(eith)
Quoted in Colin  Jarman The Guinness Dictionary of Sports Quotations (1990).

   Golf is like life in a lot of ways. The most important competition is the one against yourself.

-Clinton, Bill (William)
  Quoted in The Independent, 23 Dec.

That was a great game of golf.

-Crosby, Bing originally Harry Lillis Crosby
  Last words, as he finished play at the18th hole before suffering a heart attack.

And the wind shall say: 'Here were decent godless people: Their only monument the asphalt road And a thousand lost golf balls.'

-Eliot,T(homas) S(tearns)
  The Rock, pt.1.

All books are the Book of Job, high moral tests and tasks set in fairy tales, landmined and unforgiving as golf greens, as steeplechase and gameboard and obstacle course. 310

-Elkin, Stanley Lawrence
  'The Future of the Novel', in the NewYork Times,17 Feb.

Golf always makes me so damned angry.

-GeorgeV
Quoted in Colin  Jarman The Guinness Dictionary of Sports Quotations (1990).

A golfcourse isthe epitome of all that ispurely transitory in the universe, a space not to dwell in, but to get over as quicklyas possible.

-Giraudoux, (Hippolyte) Jean
  Quoted in Colin  Jarman The Guinness Dictionary of Sports Quotations (1990).

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.

-Hope, Bob originally LeslieTownes Hope
Quoted in the Reader's Digest, Oct1958.

It is statute and ordained that in na place of the Realme there be used Fute-ball,Golfe, or uther sik unproffitable sportes.

-James IV
  Royal decree.

Golf is a game that is played on a five inch courseöthe distance between your ears.

-Jones, Bobby (RobertTyre)
Quoted in Colin  Jarman The Guinness Dictionary of Sports Quotations (1990).

A decision of the courts decided that the game of golf may be played on a Sunday, not being a game within the view of the law, but being a form of moral effort.

-Leacock, Stephen Butler
  Over the Footlights,'Why I Refuse to Play Golf'.

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.

-Lemmon,Jack (John Uhler)
Attributed.

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place this world is when one is playing golf.

-Lynd, Robert
Attributed. British journalist  and writer.  His  critique of feminism,  No  More SexWar:The Failures of Feminism, was published in1992.

Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad.

-Milne, A(lan) A(lexander)
Attributed.

Golf is not and never has been a fair game.

-Nicklaus,JackWilliam knownas 'the GoldenBear'
Quoted in Colin  Jarman The Guinness Dictionary of Sports Quotations (1990).

The IncomeTax return has made more Liars out of the American people than Golf has. Even when you make one out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a Crook or a Martyr.

-Rogers,Will
  The Illiterate Digest,'Helping the Girls withTheir Income Taxes'.

I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.

-Rogers,Will
Quoted in Michael HobbsThe Golf Quotation Book (1992).

Be funny on a golf course? Do I kid my best friend's mother about her heart condition?

-Silvers, Phil originally Philip Silver
Quoted in Michael HobbsThe Golf Quotation Book (1992).

Golf is to Fiji what cricket is to America.

-Singh,Vijay
  In The Independent, 23 Dec.

Exercise? I get it on the golf course.When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.

-Skelton, Red (Richard)
Attributed.