To the Glorious,Pious, and Immortal Memory of King William theThird,Prince of Orange, who delivered us from Popes and Popery, Knaves and Knavery, Slaves and Slavery, Brass Money, and Wooden Shoes, and He that Will Not Take thisToast May He Be Damn'd,Cramm'd, and Jamm'd Down the Great Gun of Athlone, and the Gun Fired in the Pope's Belly, and the Pope Fired in the Devil's Belly, and the Devil Fired into Hell, and the Door Lock'd, and the Key Forever in the Pocket of a Stout Orangeman. And Here's a Fart for the Bishop of Cork!

-Anonymous
c.1890  'The Orange Toast', traditional Protestant Irish.

I'm a fart in a gale of wind, a humble violet under a cow pat.

-Barnes, Djuna
  Doctor. Nightwood, ch.5.

So dumb he can't fart and chew gum at the same time.

-Johnson, Lyndon B(aines) also called LBJ
Of Gerald Ford. Quoted in Richard Reeves  A Ford, Not a Lincoln. (1975), ch.2.

Love is the fart Of every heart: It pains a man when 'tis kept close, And others doth offend, when 'tis let loose.

-Suckling, SirJohn
  'Love's Offence'.