The first carnival person was Christopher Columbus. When he sailed, he didn't know where he was going. When he got there, he didn't know where he was. And when he got back, he didn't know where he'd been.

-Cole, Mac
  In the Washington Times,18  Aug.

I suppose that the high-water mark of my youth in Colombus,Ohio, was the night the bed fell on my father.

-Thurber,James Grover
  My Life and HardTimes, ch.1.

   Illustrious Cook,Columbus of our shore, To whom was left this unknown world t'explore, Its untraced bounds on faithful chart to mark, And leave a light where all before was dark.

-Wentworth,William Charles
  Australasia.

Columbus and his men, they say, Conveyed the virus hither Whereby my features rot away And vital powers wither; Yet had they not traversed the seas And come infected back, Why, think of all the luxuries That modern life would lack.

-Wilbur, Richard
  'Pangloss's Song', from Candide.