damned if I do, damned if I don't - Phrases/Idioms
The American Heritage® Dictionary of Idioms by Christine Ammer. Copyright © 2003, 1997 by The Christine Ammer 1992 Trust. Published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. All rights reserved.
A situation in which one can't win. For example, If I invite Aunt Jane, Mother will be angry, and if I don't, I lose Jane's friendship—I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. Eric Partridge suggested this idiom may have come from the emphatic I'm damned if I do, meaning “I definitely will not do something,” but despite the similar wording the quite different meaning argues against this theory. [Colloquial; first half of 1900s] Also see catch-22.