I started to walk sideways across the mountain, away from the goats narrowing in on me, now with pace.

(I wrote this. It’s far from good. But I just wanted some answers before I modified it).

1)Are across the mountain and away from the goats two adverbials with the same function (compound adverbials), modifying walk (maybe sideways)?

2)Would you include ‘and’ between mountain and away?

3)Is ‘now with pace’ a prep phrase modifying the verb aspect of the participle ‘narrowing’?

4)Is the word ‘now’ the reason for the comma, because it seems like it would not need a comma if the adverb ‘now’ was left out?

Thanks a load.

I started to walk sideways across the mountain, away from the goats narrowing in on me, now with pace.

Are across the mountain and away from the goats two adverbials with the same function (compound adverbials), modifying walk (maybe sideways)?

Yes. Modifying walk.

Would you include ‘and’ between mountain and away?

It would be clearer that way.

Is ‘now with pace’ a prep phrase modifying the verb aspect of the participle ‘narrowing’?

Yes. I would be inclined to say, “narrowing in on me and increasing their pace.” The term with pace sounds odd to me, but it might be just me,

Is the word ‘now’ the reason for the comma, because it seems like it would not need a comma if the adverb ‘now’ was left out?

I think the comma is needed unless you rewrite the sentence as suggested.

Yes and must come there.

jingle33 - 15 August 2009 12:03 AM

Yes and must come there.

What do you mean?

p.s. please don’t advertise.

I think he is saying the comma must come there.

I think so, too. But he should say it.

I think he is more interested in advertising than in answering the question (long pause) unfortunately.

Maybe you and Bert could buy some bunk beds.

Bert is too prudent to splash out on a new bed.

I recently learned that Ernie and Bert are gay. I’m changing my avator before people get the wrong idea.

Ernie and Bert can’t be gay. They’re hands covered in cloth.

Eddie88 - 12 August 2009 06:38 AM

I started to walk sideways across the mountain, away from the goats narrowing in on me, now with pace.

(I wrote this. It’s far from good. But I just wanted some answers before I modified it).

1)Are across the mountain and away from the goats two adverbials with the same function (compound adverbials), modifying walk (maybe sideways)?

2)Would you include ‘and’ between mountain and away?

3)Is ‘now with pace’ a prep phrase modifying the verb aspect of the participle ‘narrowing’?

4)Is the word ‘now’ the reason for the comma, because it seems like it would not need a comma if the adverb ‘now’ was left out?

Thanks a load.

1)  I think that there are two adverbial phrases, both modifying “walk.”

~ sideways across the mountain (where “sideways” modifies “across,” so that it would hardly be different if it said “across the mountain sideways”)
~ away from the goats
__________________________________

2) Absolutely not.  No “and.”

The whole point of the sentence is to say you were dodging goats by slinking off sideways. 

If you put an “and” here, it makes it read as though you had two plans in mind—one to traverse the mountain sideways, probably because of an eccentricity of your own; and then as long as things were going bad anyway, you thought it would be advisable to avoid foreign goat entanglements.

It has been my observation that this is always a good call, well worth that tricky sidewards maneuver that only experienced goat-avoiders can pull off successfully.

________________________________

The goats were “closing in” on you, not “narrowing in” on you.

An arroyo can narrow in on you.  But a bunch of hostile goats roaming the earth on a mountain can only approach you.

Or at least they can approach you if you let them.  I sincerely hope this anecdote ends well, Eddie, but I hold out only dim hopes for the prospects of any protagonist who’s damn fool enough to let himself get mixed up with a herd of bloody goats.

________________________________

“Now with pace”???

What does that even mean?  What is “with pace?”

That’s not something you can say.
I guess you mean “increasingly fast” or “faster and faster.”  So I can see why you are trying to avoid this like a goat.  But still, Eddie—please be reasonable.  “With pace”???? I don’t think so!

I started to walk sideways across the mountain, away from the goats closing in on me and picking up the pace.

I started to walk sideways across the mountain, away from the goats closing in on me more and more rapidly.

I started to wish I had never got on this damn slopey mountain in the first place, because a huge herd of angry goats was menacing me and making me scuttle across the mountain sideways like some kind of weird human-shaped crab or something.  And they were closing in on me faster and faster!
Aarrghh!
~ The End

Thorough analysis, good job.

I agree with what you have said.

“. . . now starting to trot.” or ” . . . now starting to run.”

I started to walk sideways across the mountain, away from the goats closing in on me, and now breaking into a trot.”

Now I like the comma after “me.”

I d/k if goats “trot.”  But it’s so much more flavorsome a word than “run” that I feel committed to it.

I tried to Google the anatomically correct terms for goat locomotion.

No results yet, but I found this strange web page featuring goat and crab races. 
The race officials are at present separating the species, but I think you have the expertise to suggest a fusion event.
http://www.tobagowi.com/herit/goatrace.htm

Now I like the comma after “me.”

As I’m sure you know, unfortunately, commas aren’t placed where you like them existing.

Eddie88 - 16 August 2009 07:26 AM

Now I like the comma after “me.”

As I’m sure you know, unfortunately, commas aren’t placed where you like them existing.

Well, if you’re the comma guy, riddle me this:

“I can speak a little French as well, because I lived in Paris for a summer when I was young.”

If I need the comma before “because” in that sentence, what about this one:

“She left because she was bored.”

Well, if you’re the comma guy, riddle me this:

“I can speak a little French as well, because I lived in Paris for a summer when I was young.”

If I need the comma before “because” in that sentence, what about this one:

“She left because she was bored.”

There are two accepted beliefs on commas before adverbial clauses. One belief is that a comma never precedes an adverb clause if it follows a main clause, except when the clause expresses extreme contrast.

The second belief is that the need for a comma depends on the restrictive nature of the clause.

So it depends which way you sway really (this is where Saparis will mention how ernie and Bert sway the wrong way).

As you know, an adverb clause always has a comma following it, if it is followed by a main clause.