Sorry ACB, but someone who thinks she knows more than you disagrees with you.
I told her what you said and I got the following response.
If you don’t mind, could you check out the following quote to see if it sounds like a writing of a native English speaker?
Q; When two infinitives are connected with ‘and’, can ‘to’ be omitted from the second infinitive after ‘and’?
A: Yes (especially where the verbs are closely related), provided the meaning is clear. Where the first infinitive is negative and the second affirmative, as in this case, you need to keep the second ‘to’ for clarity.
You tell him this, too:
To begin with, no one can assume this as “the first infinitive is negative and the second affirmative.”
The second ‘to” can also be kept to link it to the predicative that the first infinitive comes under.
Otherwise, the second one can be mistakenly understood as the verb
directly connected to the subject.
Q: If the first infinitive is negative, like ‘not to take advantage’, the second one ‘to consider’ shares ‘not’ to mean negative or it needs another ‘not’ to make it negative, considering ‘and’ as parallel connector?
A; Again, you need to make the meaning clear. Where both verbs are negative, you can either:
(a) omit both the ‘not’ and the ‘to’ from the second, but only if the two verbs are close together (e.g. “he must learn not to scream and shout”), or
This is exactly what I myself based on when I took the both infinitives to be in parallel negative. And I may add, when it comes to this common usage, it doesn’t matter whether or not you keep two infinitve verbs “close together”. You just can’t apply the same rule differently according to their distance.
In other words, you just can’t say “only if the two verbs are close together,” do you “omit both the ‘not’ and the ‘to’ from the second.” It has nothing to do with the distance and you can omit any time if you want to however farther they may be apart. At the same time, when it comes to this kind of conventional usage, it’s nothing more than a personal decision a writer considers to further clarify intention for his/her reader. In short, it’s not even a rule etched in stone but commonly accepted usage, which means it differs with each situation and writer.
(b) include both the ‘not’ and the ‘to’ in the second (e.g. “it is important not to waste too much time on preparation, and not to worry about small mistakes”).
Now, this is obviously a more objective usage and thus I can agree 100%. You have the 2nd infinitve set off by a comma, so you must take both “not” and “to.” Otherwise, with the comma and without “not”, it’s to be mistaken for an affirmative. If it weren’t for the comma, you can, of course, go either “...and worry about small mistakes” or “...and to worry about small mistakes” to mean both in negative.
Know that the “to” omission is not a must but simply just a matter of personal choice/decision of writer.
It just happens to be more common to leave it off.