Today’s Stock Market Report

Helium was up, feathers were down.
Paper was stationary.
Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading.
Knives were up sharply.
Cows steered into a bull market.
Pencils lost a few points.
Hiking equipment was trailing.
Elevators rose as escalators continued their slow decline.
Weights were lifted in heavy trading.
Light switches were off.
Mining equipment hit rock bottom.
Diapers remained unchanged.
Shipping lines stayed at an even keel.
The market for raisins dried up.
Coca-Cola fizzled.
Caterpillar stock inched up a bit.
Sun peaked at midday.
Balloon prices were inflated.
Scott Tissue touched a new bottom.
And batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market.

Chimneys went through the roof.
Hammocks sagged a bit.
Hooters swung back and forth all day.
And Durex was up in after-hours trading.
MasochistsRUs took a beating.
Rubber balls dropped but bounced back.
Lamps flickered in light trading.
And the bottom fell out of Damp Cardboard Boxes, Inc.
Origami International folded early.
Boxers rallied before the closing bell.
No sign of an end to the curry futures bubble.
And trousers were again down all afternoon.

This could go on almost as long as the knickers thread.  ;D

- PW

lol

That was great guys… I needed that!

;D

-Tim