Infantile phrases
Any thought or feeling in which these expressions are found is likely to be made instantly laughable: absolutely, positively; all of the above; because (that’s why); because why?; (as) compared to what?; going on (19); I’ll bet you any amount of money; in no way, shape, or form; intestinal fortitude; it takes one to know one; me, myself, and I; mission accomplished; mutual admiration society; never (not) in a million years; real, live; really and truly; (you) started it; (I) take it back; the feeling’s mutual; the (L)-word; (my) whole, entire life; with a capital (A); without further ado; (62) years young; (a) zillion(s) (of).
Also included among these phrases that strike all but the dimwitted as derisory are notorious advertising slogans (inquiring minds want to know; where’s the beef), song and film titles (a funny thing happened to me on the way to; I can’t get no satisfaction), and alliterative or rhymed phrases (a bevy of beauties; chrome dome).
Other infantile phrases are more disturbing, for they reveal an adolescent, unformed reasoning. Explanations like in the wrong place at the wrong time, it just happened, it’s a free country, and everything’s (it’s all) relative are as farcical as they are possibly fallacious.
Moribund metaphors
Metaphors, like similes, should have the briefest of lives. Their vitality depends on their evanescence.
Yet must we ever endure the dimwitted (it’s) a jungle (out there), an emotional roller coaster, a stroll (walk) in the park, (like) being run over (getting hit) by a (Mack) truck, (as) cool as a cucumber, everything but the kitchen sink, (as) hungry as a horse, leak like a sieve, light at the end of the tunnel, out to lunch, over the hill, pass like ships in the night, (as) phony as a three-dollar bill, (a) piece of cake, rule the roost, window of opportunity, (every parent’s) worst nightmare, and countless other metaphors that characterize people as dull, everyday speakers and writers, indeed, as platitudinarians? Nothing new do they tell us. Nothing more do they show us.
Moreover, if it weren’t for our plethora of metaphors, especially, sports images — above par, a new ballgame, batting a thousand, do (make) an end run around, down for the count, hit a home run, off base, pull no punches, stand on the sidelines, step up to the plate, took the ball and ran with it — and war images — a call to arms, an uphill battle, battle lines are drawn, draw fire, earn his stripes, first line of defense, in the trenches, on the firing line, take by storm — men and, even, women would be far less able to articulate their thoughts. We would speak and write more haltingly than we already do; our thoughts and feelings more misshapen than they already are.
Moribund metaphors interfere with our understanding not only when we use them singly but also, and especially, when we use them simultaneously, that is, when we use them together, metaphor on metaphor. Frequently incongruous, these metaphors disfigure any sentence in which they are found.
- And by last Christmas, for any defense contractor, the dwindling Soviet threat had evolved from meal ticket into writing on the wall.
- Our restaurant cost me and my wife an arm and a leg, but we didn’t build it without planning and we certainly wouldn’t let it go down the drain.
- Right now, USAir’s problem is trying to determine whether this is a soft landing for the economy or a recession, and the jury is still out.
- For 20 years she was a rising star in the business, but by last year her success had gone to the dogs.
- In the face of mounting pressure to gut or eliminate the IRS, it continues to shoot itself in the foot by biting the hands that feed them.
- Looking at those things, it didn’t take a rocket scientist to see there was something rotten in Denmark.
- Thanks to Clinton, Lewinsky, & Co., I’m off the hook and it’s on the table.
- Things were already bad, but when we saw those things coming down the pike, that was the last nail in the coffin.
We rely on metaphors not because we feel they make our speech and writing more vivid and inviting but because we fail to learn how to express ourselves otherwise; we know not the words.
In truth, the more of these metaphors that we use, the less effective is our speech and writing. Neither interesting nor persuasive, their expression fatigues us where we thought it would inform us, annoys us where we believed it would amuse us, and benumbs us where we hoped it would inspire us.
so lets drop those overworked words and phases from our vocabularies and begin to fall into a coma, or slip into sleep instead!
