I’ve always heard this one as I can read you like a book. It gives the idea that someone is like an open book - their thoughts and feelings are obvious and there for all to see. In a specific case it would mean that someone has come to understand another’s train of thought and emotional life.
[font=times new roman]The mind is not a book, to be opened at will and examined at leisure. Thoughts are not etched on the inside of skulls, to be perused by any invader. The mind is a complex and many-layered thing… It is true, however, that those who have mastered legilimency are able, under certain conditions, to delve into the minds of their victims and to interpret their findings correctly. —Severus Snape[/font]
Dear Members, I started this thread in a jocular sense and, apart from what I am about to write, I hope the thread remains that way—humorous (humor us?).
I’ve always disliked the expression "knowing someone like a book." I find it demeaning and disparaging, somehow devaluing one’s personhood. How can anyone know another’s heart and soul?
We know how a person MIGHT behave in a given situation based upon past responses. And it is understandable, of course, that is what one means when using the expression.
Anyhow, I just felt the need to explain the reason why I posted this thread. Hope no one takes it that seriously—including Yours truly.
[I]I know you like the palm of my hand[/I] is the only one I’ve heard meaning that. It makes me much more sense… Your palm is much closer and known to you than any book…
About books, if someone expresses himself [I]like an open book[/I], that’s to say he’s very succesful transmitting his [B]knowledge[/B] rather than his sentiments… At least that’s the way I see it and always use it.
In the US, it is like the back of my hand. Perhaps because that is what the eye sees when guiding work undertaken with the hands.
I had a boss who religiously followed How to Read a Person Like a Book. I felt it was a useful guide for the otherwise oblivious, but certainly not a definitive study! It ignored other cultures and other environmental factors.
[list][*]Is the person with crossed arms really defensive or maybe just cold?
[*]Has the girl dropped her eyes because she is lying, or because she was raised in a culture where this is a sign of respect?
[*]Do the crossed legs indicate that he isn’t receptive to the offer, or maybe that he had too much coffee during negotiations? [/list]
I like McKenzie’s
...I’ve just written a chapter you haven’t read yet."
[quote author=gailr link=board=idiom;num=1087745443;start=0#5 date=06/20/04 at 13:46:16]
[list][*]Is the person with crossed arms really defensive or maybe just cold?
[*]Has the girl dropped her eyes because she is lying, or because she was raised in a culture where this is a sign of respect?
[*]Do the crossed legs indicate that he isn’t receptive to the offer, or maybe that he had too much coffee during negotiations? [/list]
1. No. He is from a culture where showing one’s open hands is impolite.
2. No. She wishes you would smash the scarely spider on the floor.
3. No. He is trying to tell politely that he is crossed at the dirty socks you are wearing.
The first item of my last post was not a complete make-up. I saw in Mainichi Shimbun (a major newspaper of a minor language) 10 June, anno MMIV a picture of Nigerien (not Nigerian) girl with folded arms looking into the camera. The caption read, "With folded arms she may look acting big, but in fact she is showing respect by not showing her hands."
I realy regret that I have taken the paper to recycling, but, if I remember correctly, her fingers were streched along the upper arms. Thus I assumed showing one’s palm can be inappropriate in circumstances for Nigeriens. The reporter who took the picture wrote nothing about what specific tribe or ethnic subscribe to this cultural value.
Gailr’s item no. 3 (Do the crossed legs indicate that he isn’t receptive to the offer, or maybe that he had too much coffee during negotiations?) can be improvised upon in the same vein. In Arab culture showing one’s sole and pointing something by one’s feet are considered very impolite. Maybe we outsiders all learnt this when Iraqis on the street chased the felled statue of Saddam Hussein, hitting it by the bottom of their shoes. Ok, let’s have a try.
3b. Maybe this gentleman is wondering if Saddam has been as terrible as you are.
I’m wondering if I must use a specific body gesture or hold to keep from offending a lot of others?
I feel it really depends on whose home ground you are playing at. If you are travelling in Niger and ubi caelum cognoscit (heaven knows where), you can show respect by observing their taboos. The only problem is to know what taboos they have because taboos are even taboo to talk about.
But if you are quite a homebody and staying within your Acres, and your guests are assumed to be conversant with American culture, then it’s American culture’s turn to be honoured by you and perhaps by your guest, with the caveat that it should not belittle other cultures.
Thunderously admiring your thoughtful accommodation,
Fulminator
Once upon a time, there was a Hindu and a young woman. They married. She went to visit his family in India and once there she kept saying to her mother-in-law "Oh this is so beautiful!", "This is wonderful", "You have such gorgeous necklace" etc. The mother-in-law was furious! She yelled at her son. Why? If you keep saying these things in India it means you want the things you describe for yourself and the person who owns them must give them to you, according to custom. ;D
The custom, in fact, is properly observed if the wife reciprocates favours. Every time gift-giving (an etymological pleonasm) is performed, the relationship between the two parties is renewed. If both of them are good exchangers, it consolidates their relationship. If either one neglect one’s role, there simply will not a second chance.
Similar cultural rifts occurred between white settlers and the indigenous population in the US, with the immigrants failing to understand the existing potlatch economies.
A neighbour has been kind enough to help me out of my recycling fiasco. Now I have got the picture.
[quote author=Flaminius link=board=idiom;num=1087745443;start=0#10 date=06/21/04 at 09:06:44]The first item of my last post was not a complete make-up. I saw in Mainichi Shimbun (a major newspaper of a minor language) 10 June, anno MMIV a picture of Nigerien (not Nigerian) girl with folded arms looking into the camera. The caption read, "With folded arms she may look acting big, but in fact she is showing respect by not showing her hands."
The girl’s arms are folded so that her fingers are tucked between her side and her upper arm. Only her dorsa manuum (< dorsum manus) are visible.
1. No. He is from a culture where showing one’s open hands is impolite.
Good comebacks, Flambeau! :D But your last posting
The girl’s arms are folded so that her fingers are tucked between her side and her upper arm. Only her dorsa manuum (< dorsum manus) are visible.
sheds an entirely new light on the situation: clearly, this girl is concealing the fact that her manicure needs a touchup. And she is not looking down from courtesy, but because she has nodded off from, like, boredom, you know?
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