Dealing with a LAWYER!

A new York Divorce Lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter asks him “What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?” The Lawyer thought a moment, then said, “A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street.” Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the record, and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that this was true. Saint Peter said, “Well , that’s fine, but it’s not really quite enough to get you into Heaven.” The Lawyer said, “Wait Wait! There’s more! Three years ago I also gave a homeless person a quarter.” Saint Peter nodded to Gabriel, who after a moment nodded back, affirming this, too, had been verified. Saint Peter then whispered to Gabriel, “Well, what do you suggest we do with this fellow?” Gabriel gave the Lawyer a sidelong glance, then said to Saint Peter, “Let’s give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to Hell.”

A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and and said, “Bow-wow!” The cat ran away. “What was that, Father?” asked Baby Mouse. “Well, son, that’s why it’s important to learn a second language.”

haha! I like that joke! Nice one.! perhaps we could put another thread: “Joke of the Day! (no green jokes allowed)”. Here is an old riddle for us:

A moth ate words. I thought that was a marvelous fate,
that the worm, a thief in the dark, should eat
a man’s words, his brilliant language
and its sturdy foundation. Not a whit the wiser
was he for having fattened himself on those words.

Right! Maybe we can start tomorrow! Hahaha poor moth! ^^

A moth ate words. I thought that was a marvelous fate,
that the worm, a thief in the dark, should eat a man’s words,
his brilliant language and its sturdy foundation.
Not a whit the wiser was he for having fattened himself on those words.

Is the answer: bookworm?

A tramp lie down and sleep in the park. He had been sleeping for about 5 minutes when a couple walked by. The man stopped, woke the tramp up , and asked him, “Excuse me.

Do you know what the time is?” The tramp replied, “I’m sorry - I don’t have a watch, so I don’t know the time.”

The man apologized for waking the tramp and the couple walked away.

The tramp lay down again, and after a few minutes went back to sleep. Just then, a woman, who was out walking her dog, shook the tramp’s shoulder until he woke up again.

The woman said, “I’m sorry to trouble you, but I’m afraid I’ve lost my watch - do you happen to know the time?” The tramp was a little annoyed at being woken up again, but he politely told the woman that he didn’t have a watch and didn’t know the time.

After the woman had gone, the tramp had an idea.

sleeper - 26 May 2009 09:28 PM

haha! I like that joke! Nice one.! perhaps we could put another thread: “Joke of the Day! (no green jokes allowed)”. Here is an old riddle for us:

A moth ate words. I thought that was a marvelous fate,
that the worm, a thief in the dark, should eat
a man’s words, his brilliant language
and its sturdy foundation. Not a whit the wiser
was he for having fattened himself on those words.

Hi! What’s “green joke”? :-D

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