Hello,
I just want to ask why we can say best man and why we say bridesmaid and not best girl or best woman?? What is the etymology of these words? Thanks
PS. I hope there is a sense in this question I didn’t use my book to post it I really look forward to your answer because I’m really curious to know it.
I understand this is a legacy of the olden days (and mindsets) when the women who attended the bride had to be virgins. Maid generally means a young woman (though archaic), but the inherent message is that a maid is a virgin. See American Heritage Dictionary of English s.v. maid.
Kasia, the comedy answer may be the most accurate:
Groomsmen (groom’s attendants) and the best man (I believe this was once the groom’s best friend, with the implication that he would look after the bride if the groom met an untimely end—I can’t find proof right now, though) at any rate, they’re men. They’re just guys. Unless the bride is psychotic (and the groom spineless) and she insists upon baby blue frilly tuxedo shirts with matching cummerbunds, they’re allowed to dress in what the respective culture deems the most glamorous male attire. That is, both they and the groom are supposed to look like wealthy sophisticates. Some don’t quite pull it off, but that is the intention.
Bridesmaids, on the other hand, are stand-ins for downtrodden servants of the bride. In the US, it is a bridesmaid’s solemn duty to pay ghastly sums of money for an ensemble she wouldn’t want to see her worst enemy buried in. In theory, this makes the bride look like the be-all and end-all of feminine pulchritude, regardless of her actual situation. When the bridesmaid gets married, she gets even by inviting previous bride to be a bridesmaid and inflicting an even more heinous ensemble on her. Unfortunately, her single friends are publicly humiliated as well, creating just that many more bitter women determined to let someone else feel the pain on their own wedding day… It’s a vicious cycle.
You might conclude from this that I have been the witting victim of a bride or two. Yes, I have. It’s hard to say "no" to sisters with stars in their eyes and clouds of organza obscuring their higher brain functions. My sister-in-law picked out electro-shock blue, festooned with a million yards of white nylon galoon lace, Scarlett O’Hara Goes to the Barbecue dresses, worn off the shoulder. The women in my genetic line generally prefer shoulder straps, enough said. But I wore it (while praying to god almighty to suspend gravity until the photos were over ) because my brother loves her. Several years later, after the birth of a child and better living altered her figure, her own youngest sister picked out something similar for her to wear. Older and wiser, she stared at herself in unmitigated horror and called me up to apologize profusely. Revenge is best when served very cold, yes? :)
Well, none if this is grammar, but I still believe it is the best answer to your question. What man would ask his friends to dye their shoes to match their boutaniers?
I was at a wedding on Saturday. The bridegroom was accompanied by a best man, and the bride was accompanied by a best woman (wedfascists would call her a matron of honour). Unfortunately, many brides eagerly encourage outmoded sexual stereotyping in the name of tradition. Some aspects of this tradition are:
The bride is ‘given’ to the groom by her father.
The bride wears white as a symbol of virginity: the groom is (or was) expected to enjoy his last night of freedom. The bride’s attendants are either matrons, maids or boys.
Gradually, attitudes are changing. Fewer brides feel compelled to follow those parts of tradition that are demeaning. Brides and their mothers tend to be the motivating factor here.
A very funny slant (if not accurate) on the wedding party, gailr.
During the wedding ceremony, the players act out a drama as stereotypes (more like archtypes).
I see nothing wrong with it in its most traditional and archaic form. Even down to the giving away of the bride by the bride’s father.
I guess this could be looked at as a part of the old "women as chattle" artifact, but, I think tht it can also be seen as the daughter and father agreeing to change the nature of their relationship.
To erase all traditions is to mute the significance of symbols, and that is to erase all history, and that will only lead us in a circle of ignorance.
Katy, did you miss the word "sisters"?
Sometimes, see, the family makes an offer you can’t refuse, see?
gailr who can say "no" to friends without suffering repercussions for years and years… :D
What I never could figure out is, if the guy is the "best man", why wasn’t the bride marrying him in the first place??? ;)
These are archaic terms along with the institution of marriage.
To quote an excellent line:
"Marriage is a great institution, but who wants to live in an institution all your life?"
If I recall rightly, the best man was there to stand in for the groom should he fail to turn up for the wedding.
I know of no such necessity for the maid or matron of honour. I suppose it was usually the man who backed out in bygone years.
However, the most interesting statistics I have read concern the fact that more men are happier in marriage than women, despite jokes to the contrary. Considering that women hold down at least two jobs - one outside the home, the other inside - and men only one, it is no wonder that men are so much happier.
I saw an ad recently of a woman in a bikini, barbequing a big steak, a huge open iced beer cooler at her feet
Let it be known that I was NOT involved in that ad. :—) After all, if the beer cooler was open, the beer was probably getting warm. Totally unrealistic.
I imagine someone told her that it was a good way to build up her tan. Women, really!
The bridesmaid or maid of honour did have a responsibility to marry the groom if the bride did not go through with the wedding. My proof text is Blackadder - the one where Edmund is marrying his manservant Bob, who is really Kate, and her bridesmade is Baldrick, who is really a man, or a turnip, but Kate/Bob is wooed away by Flashman, the best man, even though Percy really wanted to be best man, though everyone always ignored him, and Edmund was told that tradition dictates that he marry Baldrick. Do you get that? Anyway, it was all probably made up.
Well, Garzo, if Blackadder so decreed it, it must be so!
Perhaps it was a parody of the best man thing. However, Mr. Bean aside, I think Blackadder was Rowan Atkinson at his finest - simply brilliant!
This makes Holy Matrimony sound very much like a formal duel!
The Seconds stand ready bearing the weapons of choice (bouquet or ring), offering advice, encouragement and support if needed. They should also be prepared to step in and complete the job if the Principals are unable to do so…
Rowan Atkinson is second only to Tracy Ullman as the most comedic genius of the known universe.
I loved Black Adder, except the WW1 stuff, which was too earthy for me (some friends who I couldn’t get to watch it before think it’s so funny now). Isn’t there going to be another Mr. Bean movie coming out soon. Johnnie English was OK, but I love Mr. Bean!
This makes Holy Matrimony sound very much like a formal duel!
The Seconds stand ready bearing the weapons of choice (bouquet or ring), offering advice, encouragement and support if needed. They should also be prepared to step in and complete the job if the Principals are unable to do so…
gailr
Do you have the pistols?
Do you have the rings?
The show must go on!
"We came here for a duel or a wedding and no one is leaving until one or the other is preformed? Understand?"
