Land sakes! < Living Saints!

1.  Living Saints > living sangs* by phonetic attraction of nts in Saints to ng-S in livi[ng S]aints!

2.  Living sangs* > liven’ sanks* by phonetic compensation of ngs to nks in sanks* for assimilation of ng to en in liven’ before s in sangs.*  The progress from initial living to contracted liven’ with vocalic reduction of i to sluggish e in en reflects typical vulgarity in spoken English.

3.  Liven’ sanks* > liv’n snakes by sequential contraction of final en to n in liv’n and grammatical metathesis of an in sanks* to na in snakes—cf. "Snakes alive!" < "Saints alive!"  But the cluster vnsn formed by li[v’n-sn]akes is in itself prohibitive to articulate.

4.  Liv’n snakes > land sakes by compensatory lengthening of i to diphthong [ai]*—after nature of English—to make up for loss of v in liv’n.  Said vowel may then become short a upon insertion of euphonic [d] before s in sakes, but not until after n in snakes has already been lost by rule of dissimilation with preceding n in land.  Finally, that miscreant expression of surprise—"Landsakes!"  For similar development: Cf. "for Godsakes!" < "God’s Saints!", which has clearly been attached to the preposition for rhetorical effect!

*hypothetical explanation

I bet it is something like that, bandito!  But I think there is probably some conscious effort, too!

Sitran

I wasn’t aware of the origins of "Landsakes!" but I do know  that there has been a strong tendancy in the English language to corrupt any words or expressions that  take the Lord’s name in vain even though we occasionally see examples of it in other European languages too. By gum! (By God!), Holy moly! (Holy Mary! ) By cracky! (By Christ!)and Jiminy Cricket! (Jesus Christ!) are all expressions that belong  in this category.

"Landsakes" seems to be primarily American usage and shows the archaic tendancies of American English. British speakers use "Blimey!" instead which probably comes from " May God blind me!"  

Some regional speakers of Portuguese use diacho instead of diabo for the devil.  I guess it’s the same case.  They prefer not to mention his real name and use circumlocutions instead.  I knew that was the case in English, but I never associated it with anything else I had ever heard in any other language.

Brazilian dude

1.   Golly! < God Almighty!

2.   Holy moly! < Holy Mother of God Almighty!

3.   Egads! < Ye gods! paganesque, but cf. Heb pl. Elohim for "God"

4.   Zounds! < God’s wounds!

5.   Gadzooks! < God’s wounds on the Cross!

6.   Geez Louise! < Jesus love us! optative subjunctive

7.   Gee whiz! < God (or Jesus) wills it!

8.   Gee willikers! < Jesus’ (or God’s) willy on the Cross! how disgusting!

9.   Hell’s bells! < Hell smells!

10.  Judas priest! < Judas presideth! optative indicative

11.  Gosh sakes! < God’s Saints! see my topical post "Land sakes!" above

12.  ...for Chrissakes! < Christ’s Saints! with logical prep. "for"

13.  ...for Jesusake! < Jesus’ Saints! with prep. "for" and loss of final s

14.  ...for pitysake! < Peter’s Saints! with prep. "for" and loss of final s

15.  Holy mackerel! < Holy Mother of God! nearly lost to the symbol of a fish

16.  Leapin’ lizards! < Believe in the Lord our Savior!

17.  Jumpin’ Jupiter! < So help me, Jesus! with Satanic "Jupiter" for more proper "Jesus"

etc.

Holy Cow?

Sitran

Dalai LLama is blasphemous enough… From what I’ve seen, he has only two legs.

OTOH, I find many of those names more euphemistic that blasphemous.

What’s all the buzz about?  Can’t we get the original Nahuatl as well?

Katy, since this is a public forum, "blasphemy" doesn’t really apply, does it?

"Great Spirit crackers"?  Since when does ol’ whitey have anything to do with the Great Spirit?

-Tim
...Dalai LLama, indeed!

Well, it, too, find it rather hard to sit here and have some sort of blasphemophile decide where all of our euphemistic swear words come from, esp. without any evidence that Moses could shake a stick with a serpent on the end of at.

I mean the whole point of using a euphemism is to avoid the insult of using the real words.

But, luckily, Katy, be assured that the Word is not familiar to him.

I know, Tim, but isn’t some respect due even to the slain God!

Sorry if my "Holy Cow" offended anyone!

Sitran

"Mockers are many; lovers are true!"

I never considered myself a blasphemophile, nice try anyway!  I just report what I have overheard mostly among juveniles—do you have any kids yourself?  You can also find many of these expressions verba ipsissima in old war-story comic books, which are now said to be worth a lot of money.  If leapin’ lizards and jumpin’ Jupiter sound familiar, that’s because they originate from a very famous comic strip called Li’l Orphan Annie, which made a great deal of money and became a Broadway hit not long ago.  What can I say, except I do the best that I can?

On geez Louise! and gee whiz!, however, I still feel a bit hazy—maybe you can help!

Comic books?  I think not!  I, like the rest of humanity, derive my wisdom from the "bottom line"—the supreme profit margin.  Even the exalted Vatican must hesitate, when it comes to tallying Holy Revenues.  Li’l Orphan Annie made a lot of money, both on stage and as a comic strip.  War comics were very popular in their time and are now regarded as valuable collector’s items.  Since the conception of this great country, America’s No. 1 commodity has been its Humor and not any sort of piety or religion.  In Latino America, for instance, Roman Catholicism has since 1970 lost its 90%-plus share of the faithful down to a modest 70% of mostly Latino churchgoers, owing largely to the growing popularity of Protestant Evangelicals, who strongly encourage the making of money.  "Impiety!" you say?

Katy, you can say that again.

Brazilian dude

Ah, but the problem is people can’t separate money from the love of money.

Thus Jesus told his disciples to give away all their possessions and follow him.

-Tim
...who is relieved that Heaven’s down payment does not require any great sacrifice of him, since it’s already been paid

Common axiom: God only helps those who help themselves!  In my opinion, this sort of rugged sagacity never hurt anyone.  My advice: “Tis folly to squander your life, expecting miracles!”  Religion & spirituality have their pivotal roles in our humble affairs, but the finely-tuned art of living in leisurely comfort requires our constant attention and very steadiest devotion.  If you delight in a little vulgar comedy, on stage, or through pop art comix I think Almighty God will forgive you for the most discretionate of all human transgressions.

Jesus made a choice to live without possessions, and he was here to show us how to live.  There is a great burden on any Christian who would argue that we are not called to do the same.

-Tim

I don’t know how relevant this is, but take a look.

Brazilian dude