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March Madness Basketball Glossary
Released by YourDictionary.com


Glossary contains everything you need to
better understand the NCAA Basketball Championships

DANVILLE, CALIFORNIA. March 14, 2002. YourDictionary.com, the largest language resource portal on the Web, sent its linguistic specialists into the heart of basketball country to compile this glossary of terms. It is an indispensable aid for casual and seasoned fans alike to better understand the NCAA Men's and Women's Basketball Championships. Sports editors and linguistic experts from around the nation provided crucial guidance in this effort.

According to Paul J.J. Payack, president and C.E.O. of YourDictionary.com, "The purpose of creating the March Madness Glossary is to help the casual observer better understand the culture that emanates from the basketball courts and its hitherto uncompiled language, linguistic devices, and idiomatic expressions".

Robert Beard, Chief Linguistic Officer of yourDictionary.com, further explained, "If everyone had to bounce a ball while doing whatever they are up to, it would be a better world we live in."

The NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament began March 12th, with Siena tipping Alcorn State in a play-in game, the final 64 teams are now contending at eight sites around the national and culminates in the national championship game on April 1st in Atlanta at the Georgia Dome. The NCAA Women's Basketball Tournament begins March 15th, with the final sixty-four teams contending at eight sites around the national and culminates in the national championship game on March 31st, at the AlamoDome in San Antonio.

March Madness Glossary - YourDictionary.com


Commentary by
Paul JJ Payack, Robert Beard, Peter Payack, and Joseph Marcello
March Madness Term Comment
1. Air Ball A ball passing through the air while making contact with neither the rim, the net, nor the backboard.
2. Alley Oop A shot that takes its name from the irrepressible comic-book caveman, reinforced by a '60s hit single. It involves a high pass to a point just over the rim from which point a second player "stuffs" the ball into the net.
3. Bank-Shot A shot that careens off the backboard. (See also, Bonnie & Clyde.)
4. Big Dance Semi-formal dance attended by Big Dogs and their ilk
5. Big Dogs Players who are invited to the "Big Dance". Also, players footwear size 16 or over. Alternative Atlanta spelling. 'Big Dawgs'.
6. Bounce Pass A lame pass made at a cheerleader who bounces his efforts.
7. Brackets The unofficial form of thousands of office-betting pools.
8. Bubble The somewhat ephemeral boundary separating the 'haves' from the 'have-nots'. (See also President Bush's tax proposal.)
9. Cinderella Team A dark-horse team that seemingly is living a charmed life throughout the tournament. Cinderella teams usually make a glass slip or two before the Final Four.
10. Choke To fear you have bitten off too much to chew in the playoffs. It results in too many air balls and not enough points.
11. Dead Ball A ball that is out of play or what a team plays with that is choking. Tony Soprano is implicated.
12. Doggin' it Not giving it one's all in a game.
13. Hoggin' it Taking all the shots and not giving anything.
14. Draft Historically, involuntary enlistment in the Armed Forces; now something every player can't wait to enlist in.
15. Dribble Players' reaction after watching the cheer-leaders' routine. The principle means of passing the time between shots. Double dribble: players' reaction to the Oklahoma cheerleaders' routine.
16. Dunk Slamming the ball into the basket from a very short distance (or a Krispy Kreme into a cuppa java.)
17. Dunk-a-chino A shameless advertising tie-in.
18. Elite Eight The survivors of the Sweet Sixteen Shake.
19. Fast Break Quick getaway after a steal. (See also, Bobby Knight)
20. Final Four The last men standing, the anointed few, the last four teams in the tournament. It is all about the final four fighting for the final.
21. Foul Overly aggressive contact by player with opponent (not for chickens). Also applies to Enron's accounting system.
22. Geography Lesson The Selection Committee should have attended that optional geography class. How else can one explain the placements of Southern Cal in the South Regional (played in Sacramento), Boston College in the Midwest Regional (played in Dallas), Cincinnati in the West Regional (played in Pittsburgh), and Texas Tech in the East Regional (played in Chicago).
23. Glass The backboard. This term is more poetic and easier for the announcers to pronounce than what it really is: acrylic polycarbonate plastic.
24. Goal Tending Illegal block of a shot as the ball is descending into the basket.
25. Gold Tending Contract negotiations of a first round draft pick.
26. A Good Look A clear view of the basket before a shot.
27. A Good Looker A clear view of a co-ed through the glass while taking a shot.
28. Graduation Rate A 'dirty little secret' seldom mentioned during March Madness. Schools like Bucknell, Fairfield and Colgate lead the nation. 'Nuff said.
29. Hook Shot A one-hand shot where the player arcs the ball over the head of the opponents. P. J. Carlisimo is often credited with the perfection of this technique.
30. Hoop-la Playing hoops amidst all the glamour and glitter of LA (see USC, UCLA, and Pepperdine).
31. Hoops Slang term for the game of basketball invented by James Naismith in Springfield, Massachusetts, or the earring worn by many players these days.
32. Hot Dog A courtside delicacy whose origin is variously claimed by Coney Island, in Chicago, and St. Louis. Also, a player gratuitously overplaying for audience attention.
33. Jump Ball Something related to 'jump bail' these days. (See also, UNLV).
34. Lay-down A player who refuses to drive to the basket. Also, what the Taliban refuses to do with its weapons in Afganistan.
35. Lay-up A shot made by driving as close to the basket as possible, then bouncing the ball off the backboard.
36. March Madness An undocumented form of mental illness, related vaguely to Mad Cow Disease, whose symptoms include severe cramps in the wrist and index figure of the hand that holds the TV remote, an beery smelling foam around the lips, crumbs on the upper body, and the repetitive muttering of the phrase, 'the brackets'.
37. Naismith James Naismith, Canadian clergyman, educator and physician who formulated the game of basketball in 1891 at the Young Men's Christian Training Association School (now Springfield College). Teams originally had nine players and used a soccer ball and peach baskets for goals. The backboard was added in 1895 to keep fans from interfering with play. (Not to be confused with Mike Nesmith of Monkees fame.)
38. NIT The other 'national championship' tournament, reported last won by the Little Sisters (and the Little Brothers) of the Blind.
39. Nothing but Net A shot that goes into the basket touching neither the rim, nor the backboard. AKA a "Swish!" (See also, Dennis Rodman.)
40. Office Pool The unofficial form of March Madness gambling amounts to billions of dollars, more than the GNP of several small countries. Also referred to as 'the brackets'.
41. On the Bubble The March Madness version of 'pushing the envelope', borderline teams being considered for the tournament by the Selection Committee.
42. Paint Area between the foul line and the basket. Also the make-up worn by Dennis Rodman, the KISS band members, Marilyn Manson, and Tammy Faye Baker.
43. Personal Foul Illegal body contact. Not to be confused with the Personal Fowl, Larry Bird.
44. Pick An offensive maneuver where a player uses his body to block an opponent or a draft choice.
45. Points in the Paint Groupies who go after Dennis Rodman, KISS band members, Marilyn Manson, and Tammy Faye Baker.
46. Press A tight defense that exerts continued pressure on the team with the ball or what Dennis Rodman dresses up for.
47. RPI Ratings Power Index. A somewhat arcane formula used to rate the 319 schools that play Division One basketball. The formula includes winning percentage, winning percentage of foes, the Colonel's original recipe for fried chicken, and a secret series of 'tie-breakers' contributed by the Palm Beach County Board of Election Supervisors.
48. Selection Committee The committee, reporting only to God, who selects which of the nation's 319 Division One teams will be invited to the "Big Dance." Thirty-one teams receive automatic bids as conference champions. The Selection Committee selects the remaining 34.
49. Sweet 16 Associated with the sweet taste teams experience upon making it to this round of the single-elimination tournament. Eight of these (the Eliminated Eight) will leave this round with a very bitter taste.
50. Technical Foul Unsportsmanlike conduct on the sidelines. (See also, judges in the Olympic Ice Dancing competition.)
51. The Key At one time, a much sought-after key to a woman's heart; in current usage, a key to the cell block door. Also the paint and foul shot area on the court.
52. 3 Second Violation Holding onto the ball for more than three seconds in the key.
53. Touch As in "he's got the touch," a player who is hot. Also, a likely target for scalpers.
54. Travel The Itinerary taken by Rick Pitino: BU, Providence, Kentucky, Boston Celtics, and Louisville; or three steps without dribbling the ball. Unfortunately, the mathematical skills of referees are low and they worsen when they are watching a nice shot unfold.
55. Turnovers Losing the ball to the opponent. (In the rarefied air of Georgetown sometimes called 'croissants'; in the Tarheel State, better known as 'Krispy Kremes'.)
Bonus Term Comment
Sixty-four New math for the number 65. (See also, graduation rate.) The number of teams invited to The Big Dance by the selection committee.

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