UPDATED FOR THE FINAL FOUR!

2002 March Madness Basketball Glossary
Released by yourDictionary.com

Glossary contains everything you need to
better understand the NCAA Basketball Championships

DANVILLE, CALIFORNIA. March 27, 2002 (update). yourDictionary.com, the largest language resource portal on the Web, sent its linguistic specialists into the heart of basketball country to compile this glossary of terms. It is an indispensable aid for casual and seasoned fans alike to better understand the NCAA Men's and Women's Basketball Championships. Sports editors and linguistic experts from around the nation provided crucial guidance in this effort.

The NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament began March 12th, the original 64 teams contended at eight sites around the nation but now their number has been whittled down to the Fabulous Final Four: the Indiana Hoosiers, the Kansas Jayhawks, the Oklahoma Sooners and the Maryland Terrapins. The fun begins Saturday at 6:07 pm at the Georgia Dome in Atlanta. The NCAA Women's Basketball Tournament began March 15th and has now reached the same level with the Tennesee Volunteers, Oklahoma Sooners, Duke University Blue Devils, and the University of Connecticut Huskies dancing in the final round of the Big Dance. The women's Final Four playoffs begin Friday at 7:00 pm in the Alamodome in San Antonio.

March Madness Glossary - yourDictionary.com
Commentary by Paul JJ Payack, Peter Payack, and Joseph Marcello

March Madness Term Comment
1. Air Ball A ball passing through the air while making contact with neither the rim, the net, nor the backboard.
2. Alley Oop A shot that takes its name from the irrepressible comic-book caveman, reinforced by a '60s hit single. It involves a high pass to a point just over the rim from which point a second player "stuffs" the ball into the net.
3. Bank-Shot A shot that careens off the backboard. (See also, Bonnie & Clyde.)
4. Big Dance Semi-formal dance attended by Big Dogs and their ilk
5. Big Dogs Players who are invited to the "Big Dance". Also, players footwear size 16 or over. Alternative Atlanta spelling. 'Big Dawgs'.
6. Bounce Pass A lame pass made at a cheerleader who bounces his efforts.
7. Brackets The unofficial form of thousands of office-betting pools.
8. Brick (1) A ball thrown so hard that it ricochets wildly off the backboard. (2) The construction material in the Yellow Brick Road that the Jayhawks took to the final four.
9. Bubble The somewhat ephemeral boundary separating the 'haves' from the 'have-nots'. (See also President Bush's tax proposal.)
10. Cinderella Team A dark-horse team that seemingly is living a charmed life throughout the tournament. Cinderella teams usually make a glass slip or two before the Final Four.
11. Choke To fear you have bitten off too much to chew in the playoffs. It results in too many air balls and not enough points.
12. Dead Ball A ball that is out of play or what a team plays with that is choking. Tony Soprano is implicated.
13. Doggin' it Not giving it one's all in a game.
14. Hoggin' it Taking all the shots and not giving anything.
15. Draft Historically, involuntary enlistment in the Armed Forces; now something every player can't wait to enlist in.
16. Dribble (1) The principle means of passing the time between shots. (2) Players' reaction after watching the cheer-leaders' routine.
17. Double dribble Players' reaction to the Oklahoma cheerleaders' routine.
18. Dunk Slamming the ball into the basket from a very short distance (or a Krispy Kreme into a cuppa java.)
19. Dunk-a-chino A shameless advertising tie-in.
20. Elite Eight The survivors of the Sweet Sixteen Shake.
21. Fast Break Quick getaway after a steal. (See also, Bobby Knight)
22. Final Four The last men standing, the anointed few, the last four teams in the tournament. It is all about the final four fighting for the final.
23. Foul Overly aggressive contact by player with opponent (not for chickens). Also applies to Enron's accounting system.
24. Geography Lesson The Selection Committee should have attended that optional geography class. How else can one explain the placements of Southern Cal in the South Regional (played in Sacramento), Boston College in the Midwest Regional (played in Dallas), Cincinnati in the West Regional (played in Pittsburgh), and Texas Tech in the East Regional (played in Chicago).
25. Glass The backboard. This term is more poetic and easier for the announcers to pronounce than what it really is: acrylic polycarbonate plastic.
26. Goal Tending Illegal block of a shot as the ball is descending into the basket.
27. Gold Tending Contract negotiations of a first round draft pick.
28. A Good Look A clear view of the basket before a shot.
29. A Good Looker A clear view of a co-ed through the glass while taking a shot.
30. Graduation Rate A 'dirty little secret' seldom mentioned during March Madness. Schools like Fairfield and Colgate lead the nation. 'Nuff said.
31. Hook Shot A one-hand shot where the player arcs the ball over the head of the opponents. P. J. Carlisimo is often credited with the perfection of this technique.
32. Hoop-la Playing hoops amidst all the glamour and glitter of LA (see USC, UCLA, and Pepperdine).
33. Hoosier Originally, folks from Indiana were taunted as hoozers (large uncouth rustics) by outsiders. But no one is insulting the Hoosier basketball team today since nipping the Blue Devils from competition and becoming insiders at the Final Four.
34. Hoops Slang term for the game of basketball invented by James Naismith in Springfield, Massachusetts, or the earring worn by many players these days.
35. Hot Dog A courtside delicacy whose origin is variously claimed by Coney Island, in Chicago, and St. Louis. Also, a player gratuitously overplaying for audience attention.
36. Jayhawk The jayhawk is a fictitious bird whose name was borrowed by the Jayhawkers, the free-soil guerrillas in Kansas and Missouri during the border disputes of 1854-1859. This year's Final Four represents some very heated border disputes but these Jayhawks are very real.
37. Jump Ball Something related to 'jump bail' these days. (See also, UNLV).
38. The Key At one time, a much sought-after key to a woman's heart; in current usage, a key to the cell block door. Also the paint and foul shot area on the court.
39. Lay-down A player who refuses to drive to the basket. Also, what the Taliban refuses to do with its weapons in Afganistan.
40. Lay-up A shot made by driving as close to the basket as possible, then bouncing the ball off the backboard.
41. March Madness An undocumented form of mental illness, related vaguely to Mad Cow Disease, whose symptoms include severe cramps in the wrist and index figure of the hand that holds the TV remote, an beery smelling foam around the lips, crumbs on the upper body, and the repetitive muttering of the phrase, 'the brackets'.
42. Naismith James Naismith, Canadian clergyman, educator and physician who formulated the game of basketball in 1891 at the Young Men's Christian Training Association School (now Springfield College). Teams originally had nine players and used a soccer ball and peach baskets for goals. The backboard was added in 1895 to keep fans from interfering with play. (Not to be confused with Mike Nesmith of Monkees fame.)
43. NIT The other 'national championship' tournament, reported last won by the Little Sisters (and the Little Brothers) of the Blind.
44. Nothing but Net A shot that goes into the basket touching neither the rim, nor the backboard. AKA a "Swish!" (See also, Dennis Rodman.)
45. Office Pool The unofficial form of March Madness gambling amounts to billions of dollars, more than the GNP of several small countries. Also referred to as 'the brackets'.
46. On the Bubble The March Madness version of 'pushing the envelope', borderline teams being considered for the tournament by the Selection Committee.
47. Paint Area between the foul line and the basket. Also the make-up worn by Dennis Rodman, the KISS band members, Marilyn Manson, and Tammy Faye Baker.
48. Personal Foul Illegal body contact. Not to be confused with the Personal Fowl, Larry Bird.
49. Pick An offensive maneuver where a player uses his body to block an opponent or a draft choice.
50. Points in the Paint Groupies who go after Dennis Rodman, KISS band members, Marilyn Manson, and Tammy Faye Baker.
51. Press A tight defense that exerts continued pressure on the team with the ball or what Dennis Rodman dresses up for.
52. RPI Ratings Power Index. A somewhat arcane formula used to rate the 319 schools that play Division One basketball. The formula includes winning percentage, winning percentage of foes, the Colonel's original recipe for fried chicken, and a secret series of 'tie-breakers' contributed by the Palm Beach County Board of Election Supervisors.
53. Selection Committee The committee, reporting only to God, who selects which of the nation's 319 Division One teams will be invited to the "Big Dance." Thirty-one teams receive automatic bids as conference champions. The Selection Committee selects the remaining 34.
54. Sooners Pioneers who, during the land rushes of the past century, started out a tad before the starting gun and staked out their claims sooner than those who waited for it. Today they are the men's and women's Oklahoma basketball teams who had sooner move to Kansas than lose in the Final Four.
55. Sweet 16 Associated with the sweet taste teams experience upon making it to this round of the single-elimination tournament. Eight of these (the Eliminated Eight) will leave this round with a very bitter taste.
56. Technical Foul Unsportsmanlike conduct on the sidelines. (See also, judges in the Olympic Ice Dancing competition.)
57. Terrapin The story of the tortoise and the hare shows us how slow and steady beats running in spurts. The Terrapin and the Husky story showed us that hot and steady works even better. Lefty Driesell called Maryland the UCLA of the East; now UCLA wishes it were the Maryland of the West!
58. 3-Pointer A ball thrown from behind the 3-point line or an alien hunting dog.
59. Hail Mary A desperation shot thrown from behind the halfway line in the final seconds of a half or game or what you say when an alien hunting dog comes after you.
60. 3-Second Violation Holding onto the ball for more than three seconds in the key.
61. Touch As in "he's got the touch," a player who is hot. Also, a likely target for scalpers.
62. Travel The Itinerary taken by Rick Pitino: BU, Providence, Kentucky, Boston Celtics, and Louisville; or three steps without dribbling the ball. Unfortunately, the mathematical skills of referees are low and they worsen when they are watching a nice shot unfold.
63. Turnovers Losing the ball to the opponent. (In the rarefied air of Georgetown sometimes called 'croissants'; in the Tarheel State, better known as 'Krispy Kremes'.)
Bonus Term Comment
Sixty-four New math for the number 65. (See also, graduation rate.) The number of teams invited to The Big Dance by the Selection Committee.

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